Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Miles to go before I sleep - Birthday eve mile run.

I am letting out a secret here.   My life has been a downward rollercoaster - well it depends on how you see it, but how I see it, is downward.   Another way of looking at it, at wrong side of 40 now, that worse is still to come, so today is better than tomorrow.

Is it pessimistic?  Who really cares?  Reality is that, you cant 'let go'.   I have lived a life what many may not dream to tread.   The depths of mind will reveal that the situations and crossroads that I had to face.  But that must be the same for everyone.   But since I dont know anyone, I would rather stick to me.

Now, why this in a running blog, you might ask. Simple, this is MY blog.   And, when I run, it is me looking inside me.  And facing the good, bad and ugly of yours truly.  So, if you dont read, I really dont care.  Because today, I am 40 - and they say life begins at 40.

I ran a 9.57 min/miler yesterday and today I ran 8.46 min/ miler.   Did it make a better me?  I dont know.   So, I let another secret here.  I have not run a group run or race since 2010.  And that is exactly when I lost my marbles.   Today is the most feared day of life.

I thought I will not see the other side of 40. I would die, leaving my family and the stakeholders of my life in distraught and despair.  It has been a dream and a deep conviction.   Now I am living that conviction.  I ran today as though it was my December 2012.   I will wait to see tomorrow's dawn. If I wake up, then I will blog again and I will run again.  I will LIVE again.  That is not to say, life is new.

But I would have bought a fresh lease to complete the carry-overs of the pre-40 portion of my life, and then look forward to what future throws at me.  My runs will be always towards this.

That is ME.  You read or not, you respond or not, that is YOU.  There ends this story.

- A Road Runner , June 25, 2014